fallenphoenixflight

Giovanni’s room by James Baldwin- Book Review

Published year: 1956,
Genre: Psychological fiction

‘Giovanni’s Room’ is set in Paris during a time of scarcity, where jobs are hard to come by for those who arrive with nothing, while the city indulges in fine dining and debauchery for the wealthy. The protagonist, David, has journeyed to the city in search of himself, seeking escape from his home in America.

David harbors a deep hatred for his own sexuality, and his fervent desire to keep his true self hidden ultimately leads to the destruction of everything he holds dear. His encounter with Giovanni on one fateful night ignites something within David that he refuses to acknowledge.

“Much has been written of love turning to hatred, of the heart growing cold with the death of love. It is a remarkable process. It is far more terrible than anything I have ever read about it, more terrible than anything I will ever be able to say.”

— James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

The affair, initially thought to last only a night, becomes Giovanni’s salvation as he grapples with hunger, misery, and the ache of unrequited love for David. Despite his efforts, David remains emotionally distant, ensconced behind walls he dares not break through. Torn between his “correct” choice, Hella, a woman he has proposed to who has embarked on her own journey, and Giovanni, whose presence awakens feelings David has long suppressed, the protagonist struggles to come to terms with his identity and the possibility of a connection with Giovanni. When he finally accepts his truth, it is too late—for both of them.

Secondary characters play significant roles in the relationship between David and Giovanni, illustrating the challenges of honesty and authenticity. Jacques, an affluent older man who belatedly grapples with his own desires, seeks solace in superficial affection purchased with money. The landlord, Guillaume, abuses his power over the workers in his bar, displaying malice while feigning politeness and chivalry when necessary, igniting a simmering anger in the reader as he torments Giovanni.

Each character in the book is flawed, including Giovanni, whose misogynistic views reflect the environment and upbringing of his time. Hella, who embarks on a journey of self-discovery and freedom, faces her own failures and reality checks, providing insight that resonates with modern readers. And yet she seem to come back with her own self preservation thoughts more than her love for David. These flaws make each character real and true to their essence.

As the story unfolds, the reader is compelled to continue, haunted by each word, yet knowing that it will never be enough.

The love written between Giovanni and David was passionate, cruel with a layer of deep affection that it hurts to go over the next pages to witness their inevitable separation.

You weep for the love that tore apart but it felt true to your bones because you saw the beginning and as mentioned in book, “you won’t rest until you see the end.”. The affair which was bound last for a night become Giovanni’s salvation as he struggles with his hunger and misery and the ache between his ribs while seeing the man he feels so deeply for trying to remain impassive. Whatever he did nothing seem to reach David, who has his own set of walls that he never dared to break through and when he finally accepted it was too late. All too late.

A good read with each word haunting you to read more and yet knowing it is not enough.

Murder Mubarak

A murder occurs in an all-exclusive club, and the victim is the gym trainer, Leo Mathews (played by Ashim Gulati), who works there. The entire movie revolves around the search for the killer. It opens by introducing the status and relationships of various characters, along with the dynamics between them. The narrative then delves into flashbacks, with each character recounting the events of the fateful night to the investigating ASP. The plot primarily revolves around how the inspector unravels the chaotic lives of the club members to uncover the truth.

In terms of acting, Pankaj Tripathi shines as ACP Bhawani Singh, portraying a calm and likable character from the moment he appears on screen. However, the performance of veteran actors like Dimple Kapadia is questionable. It’s unclear if her characters were intended to be cringeworthy to convey a point or if it was a result of poor direction. The disappointing role choice from a veteran actor detracted from the overall experience.

Tisca Chopra delivers a standout performance as Roshni Batra, portraying a mother who dotes on her son while grappling with her sense of belonging in the club. Vijay Verma as Akash Dogra handles the other aspect of the story—the love story between Bambi (played by Sara Ali Khan) and Akash, an upper-class girl and a middle-class guy with strong ethical values. Bambi, a widow, is depicted as a bubbly party girl concealing her pain behind her carefree demeanor and kleptomaniac tendencies.

Bambi reveals to Akash that Leo was blackmailing her due to her habit, leading Akash to involve the inspector in further investigation. It is revealed that Leo was blackmailing several club members, coercing them to send checks to the orphanage where he grew up, portraying Leo as a modern-day Robin Hood.

Despite some commendable performances, SK’s portrayal of Bambi detracted from the movie, leaving viewers confused about her character’s emotions. Additionally, there is mention of a cringeworthy dialogue delivered by Karishma, which disrupts the viewing experience with its shrill delivery.

The film suffers from an abundance of characters, each vying for attention with their own stories, making it challenging for the audience to connect with any one character. However, the background music score is tolerable, and while the twist is predictable, the performances make it somewhat engaging.

Overall, the movie may be worth a watch if you have nothing better to do and are up for a challenge.

Little Close to home

“Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy, come back here this moment,” Helen shouted at the top of her lungs. The sun beat down on her, causing her palms and feet to sweat. She felt out of breath as her toddler, Lizzy, ran freely across the garden, laughing without restraint. Lizzy’s exuberance knew no bounds, even as she ignored Helen’s calls.

It had been a long time since Helen had last seen her baby. Karan didn’t want Helen to overexert herself, though she could never tell him that she didn’t mind. Lizzy was the only good thing in her life after Karan, and she would be damned if she let anything come between them, anything or anyone except Karan.

About to yell again, Helen heard footsteps behind her and Helen sensed Karan’s presence before she even saw him. A familiar citrus note filled the air, comforting her and reassuring her that he was here, even before she turned to see him trudging towards them.

“Helen, this is not done. I had to leave my meeting halfway and run all across the city to come here when Lizzy’s school principal called me. Why the hell would you pull Lizzy out of her classes?” Helen smiled at Karan; her husband was always overthinking. He was someone who followed the rules religiously, so this would come across as reckless to him.

How she wished she could tell him to relax for once in his life, but alas, she shouldn’t think about things she would never do.

“Helen, I will take Lizzy back. You rest. Okay. I… I will call you,” Karan said, slightly tilting his head at her, attempting to pass her. However, Helen didn’t let him. She had missed him; he hadn’t taken a day off, and this could be their chance to have a family picnic.

Karan frowned. “Helen, please let me get Lizzy. You can meet her next week.” Why would Helen need to wait for a week? Karan was always blabbering nonsense.

“Let’s all have a picnic together. Lizzy, Lizzy, look, your papa has come to us from his office; we are having a picnic,” Helen said, trying to involve Karan. Lizzy, who was running aimlessly, stopped at this and smiled widely at them. Helen turned her mischievous eyes on Karan. “See, now you can’t escape. We are having a picnic.”

“Helen, have you taken your medicine today?” Karan’s never-ending concern would be the death of her, Helen thought as she walked away to get Lizzy. However, Karan beat her to it, picking Lizzy up. She frowned. Sometimes Karan could be such a prick; why the hell was he taking her daughter away from her?

“Helen, I will call you once I reach home. We need to go now. Bye.” Lizzy didn’t want the fun day to be over, so she stretched her hands toward her mom. Before Helen could grasp her tiny little fingers, Karan was already walking away.

Helen felt her chest swelling, making it harder to breathe. Why the hell couldn’t Karan understand that she didn’t need a break? Now he had taken Lizzy back to her school and told her to go back to rest. She didn’t need rest.

But Karan loved her and wanted the best for her. She would make him see, once he was back at night, that she could take care of Lizzy.

After closing her laptop and shutting her eyes, Ria felt the weight of exhaustion settle upon her. Despite possessing everything a person could ask for—a successful writing career where she could work as per her own choice, a loving husband who even though is away a lot manages to send her message every hour, and enough money to indulge in weekly luxury shopping—she still felt a profound connection to Helen. Helen’s character was one of her best creations, and Ria couldn’t wait to finish her story.

Helen, although Ria knows she wants to write her as a mental patient whose breakdown happens after her husband leaves her for another woman she feels there is more to this particular character, from where Helen comes from and what made her snap.

Ria empathized with her, having once experienced a similar feeling of losing herself. She hoped that if she ever encountered someone like Helen in real life, she might be able to offer them support and understanding. Perhaps, in doing so, this cycle of loneliness could find its end.

Her doorbell rang, and she grinned to herself; Pratik was finally here. She almost ran down the stairs, unlatched the door, and fell into Pratik’s arms, she inhaled deeply, taking in the comforting scent of cinnamon and citrus that clung to him.

“Someone missed me,” Pratik teased.

“You have no idea. You were gone for two weeks instead of one,” Ria replied, knowing she was exaggerating, but she couldn’t help it when Pratik just chuckled.

“Aww, I miss you too, baby. But we should close the door and stop giving our neighbors a free show,” Pratik said, pulling back.

As Ria was about to close the door, she saw a woman across the road staring intently at her. For a second, she froze, feeling like she knew her. Then she blinked, and the thought vanished as she released her breath. She didn’t know the woman and closed the door.

As Pratik and Ria lay in bed at night and Ria closed her eyes, the woman she saw earlier came to her mind, and her eyes flew open. The eyes were the same hazel brown eyes with a glint of gold spark that shone when the sun hit them. She remembered those pair of eyes; how could she not when she had created them in her writing? Even with the distance, those eyes were how she imagined Helen’s eyes would be, and her heart beat like crazy.

Then Ria chuckled at her own stupidity. Of course, that wasn’t Helen. Her character wasn’t the real woman she had seen. And she slept.

A silhouette stood near the window, and the gold sparkled in a pair of eyes when the moon shone. The figure smiled at Pratik, who slept peacefully.

Feature Image Credit- Photo by Stormseeker on Unsplash.

End Road

The end is where I found you, where I found us. Even though the path has been nothing but a pebble-filled, unconstructed road, and I keep falling and bleeding all over those rocks, you, my love, are worth it. Can you hear the beats of my heart when I said goodbye to you that day on your porch? I still remember distinctly the smell of your perfume, lavender with a hint of bergamot, that you would never admit stealing from me. You thought I was a heartless bastard, leaving my wife after our first night together, but did you know I cried your name every day in my sleep? My friends laughed and teased me when we were on the grounds, and when I was in battle and death loomed over my head, I wished only for you. I was left in shambles by my friends, believing me to be dead, and I was dead because I knew I would never get back to you. I was in enemy territory, and I never dared to hope. But in my weak moments, I would hear your laugh, the way you would wrinkle your nose in distaste when I ate with my hands. I reminisce about how I asked your father for your hand in marriage, and no matter how much you insist you didn’t know me, your lips trembled when your father asked you to reject me. My love, I continued to live on that cold, hard, yet wet surface in the bunker, with trash colligating my nose, for forty years just because I knew you were alive too. I had no hopes, no blessings in sight, but leaving the world when you were still a part of it was unbearable to me. I wouldn’t lie, in my wretched hours as I would lay in my cot, and the thoughts of you loving someone else wreak havoc inside me, and no matter how much I wished for your happiness, I wouldn’t let this thought take residence in me, afraid it would come true. But we persevere, my love. I am coming home, and they told me you are waiting for me. So yes, the god has taken a shining on us as we would be together in our death beds, and it doesn’t matter because in the end, we did find each other.

Thank you for reading my story. Small shoutout to the owner of pic- “Photo by Fabrizio Coco on Unsplash“

Bad Surgeon – Love Under the Knife

Available On: Netflix

Genre: True Crime Documentary

Directed by: Ben Steele

The three-part series was released on 29 November 2023. It focuses on Dr. Paolo Macchiarini and the lives he took in the name of surgery. Dr. Paolo Macchiarini’s introduction was given by his ex-fiance and reporter Benita Alexander-Noel. Dr. Paolo has supposedly created the first-ever man-made organs, and he claimed to cure his patients who have lung issues. We see the happiness and miracle his discovery has brought to his patients. We also see the love depicted between Benita and Paolo, and according to Benita’s words, Paolo seems like the guy who has the whole world at his feet, someone who considers himself a god.

As the series progresses, we slowly unravel the dark truth behind the scenes of what goes on before and after these claimed successful surgeries. All is not good. His patients are no longer crying in happiness; there is blood, there is dread, and there are a lot of questions that come forth.

The series touches not only on how some medical institutes can protect the devil just to have their reputation intact, but we also see the struggle of people who tried to uncover the truth. In the world where we live, with media being so accessible to all, one might think, how come such misconducts were not revealed earlier? But as every person tells their story, you realize that more than people who want to be heroes, we need people who aren’t trying to sabotage them.

There are a lot of topics that the series touches, and we discover that evil has no bounds because in every part, we come across something new. Benita Alexander, who thought she found the love of her life, has to become a part of a sting operation to get some answers.

Colleagues who have considered Dr. Paolo as their role model finally accepted that we need to question every action before blindly following orders. Most of all, we see the struggle each of these people has and how they fight against the injustice at the end.

The series also captures the stories of the patients who were promised miracles and their families being torn apart as they watch their loved ones have a painful, gruesome death.

Wild Wild Country

Genres: Documentary

Directed by: Chapman Way and Maclain Way

The six-part series was released in 2018, starring Philip Toelkes, Jane Stork, and Ma Anand Sheela as themselves.

The documentary presents the story of Osho, the world’s most controversial guru, who built a utopian city for his followers deep in Oregon Country. It explores how he became entangled in a national scandal that ultimately led to his death.

The documentary features interviews with Osho’s faithful followers who believed in him until the end, as well as those who claim to know the dark truth about him. The series also delves into the journey of his devoted commander, Ma Anand Sheela, his former spokesperson, who shielded her Bhagwan for an extended period.

This series unfolds the story of a mother- Jane Stork, who was captivated by the words of a distant figure and how she eventually reconnected with her roots.

It is a narrative about people whose lives were affected by intruders who bulldozed their way into their neighborhood and refused to leave. The series explores themes of loyalty, politics, deceit, power, and the sheer determination of an entire community that rallied against those they perceived as invaders.

“I am not going to give you a destination. I can only give you a direction – awake, throbbing with life, unknown, always surprising, unpredictable. I’m not going to give you a map. I can give you only a great passion to discover.” – Osho

These are the lines you will find if you visit the Osho Foundation, which continues to thrive. Osho, formerly known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, introduced ‘Dynamic Meditation’ and was labeled a ‘Sex Guru’ due to his statements. The documentary begins after Bhagwaan Rajneesh has moved from Jabalpur to Pune and established his center there, with foreigners pouring in steadily.

Ma Anand Sheela describes her first meeting with Bhagwaan as love at first sight. Notably, she was seventeen when she first met Bhagwaan Rajneesh but soon surpassed others to become his secretary.

Sheela, in all her statements, vehemently declares that everything she did was either to protect Bhagwan or to fulfill his desires.

Parallelly, the documentary recounts the experiences of both Philip and Jane, explaining how they left their homes to meet the guru who promised enlightenment.

After moving to Oregon, the documentary begins to follow the accounts of locals who were suspicious and unhappy as a large number of Rajneeshis arrived in their quiet town and created a commotion. The show depicts both sides: the locals opposed to the idea of open sex and the cult leader they believe to be evil, while the Rajneeshis stand firm, considering the locals bigots who want to oppress them due to religious differences.

In all six parts, the documentary attempts to capture every angle of the story, doing a commendable job as far as documentaries go.

The transition of people seeking inner peace and enlightenment to individuals involved in bioterror attacks and bombings is inconceivable, but one needs to watch and understand it. Whether you choose to believe the words is up to you, as you can always verify the facts.

The series remains open, avoiding an attempt to validate one truth or justify anything. It presents the raw actions and emotions of people on opposing sides, both believing they are protecting their own families.

Curry & Cyanide – The Jolly Joseph Case

Maturity Rating: U/A 13+
Genres: Documentaries

Directed by Christo Tomy

The new series was released on Netflix on December 22. The true crime documentary is based on the case of Jolly Joseph, who killed six people in cold blood for power and greed, and she was arrested in 2019. The murders were suspected of being done using cyanide.

The series features interviews with people related to Jollyamma Joseph, and their accounts of the crime span over eighteen years. Jollyamma Joseph belongs to a family of farmers from Kattappana in the Idukki district of Kerala and has the dream of living a luxurious life.

Jollyamma, aka Jolly, got married to Roy Thomas in 1997 and moved to Koodathayi in Kozhikode. Jolly’s mother-in-law Annamma, from the start, had been very vocal about her desire for Jolly to pursue a career. Annamma died in 2002, and at the time, it was ruled as cardiac arrest, but a decade after her death in 2019, Jolly was suspected of killing her when she got arrested for the death of her first husband Roy.

The second victim of Jolly was her father-in-law, and his death, even though it raised some heckles, the family hadn’t suspected any foul play. It was after the death of Roy that his uncle Manjadiyali raised some suspicions and demanded an autopsy. It was found he died of cyanide, but Jolly convinced everyone that the case shouldn’t move forward as it was a suicide and it would impact the mental health of her children.

Jolly knew Manjadiyali was one hurdle that kept creating obstacles for her, thus she killed him as well.

All these deaths occurring in this family have made Rojo and Renji, Roy’s brother and sister, extremely wary of Jolly. But the final nail in the coffin is done when Jolly kills Sily and Alphine, the wife and two-year-old daughter of Shaju, a man with whom Jolly was attracted. At the funeral of Sily, Renji saw the facade that Jolly had created, and she began the investigation on her own to find a discrepancy in the postmortem report of Roy and the story Jolly had weaved during his death. Renji and Rojo filed the case, which led to Jolly’s arrest.

The documentaries touched on what was the aspiration of Jolly in committing these crimes, how she did it, and the other suspects in this case. The series has the interview of the son of Jolly as well, who recounts the horror his life became due to his mother.

A story of betrayal, greed, lust, and power that shook Kerala and made us ask the question, has humanity truly left Mother Earth?

Although the series recounts the incidents that led Rojo and Renji to come to terms with the evil lurking in their ancestor’s house, somehow the series lacks in terms of technicality. It’s like we are watching the version of the story from one perspective, and if not for Jolly confessing to the crimes she has been indicted for, the case might have gone in another direction.

The series raises some serious questions about how good Jolly was in her role as an obedient and respectful citizen of society, and no one ever suspected anything. The police negligence when it comes to not taking action after the post-mortem report of Roy indicated the death wasn’t natural.

The family and community support did play a major role in how Jolly was able to stay out of trouble for eighteen years; the red flags around her that have been ignored are a cry for help. As a society, if we find something odd, it is not that unusual that we just keep it to ourselves.

The series could have shown some real clippings or anything related to real-life incidents for more impact. But overall, it was a good series for true crime lovers in general.

White- Chapter 1

Cold. The biting chill seeps into my bones, causing an involuntary retreat of body parts I’d rather keep outside my torso. Attempts to move my fingers are met with resistance; they won’t budge. Where am I? That’s when it struck me; I should probably open my eyes. A flash of white, so bright it has me closing them again. I tried again, this time slowly blinking the intensity away. Okay. So I am inside a metal container and I am stripped naked. Not good news for me. Above my head, a stripe of light is creeping in, and I know I should be doing something to come out of this, but my brain hasn’t made a proper greeting to my body yet.

Bringing my arms to the top of the container, I made a feeble attempt to knock, but my mouth refused to cooperate and screamed for help. Who is going to help? Where am I? And who am I? No idea, but a distinct voice in my brain tells me to focus on escaping from this coffin. Oh, coffin, I know what it is. It’s where you place dead bodies. A vivid image of me tossing people into them as they scream came into my mind, and I closed it off.

But coffins are usually not made of metal. Maybe I can break this thing off. But usually, you have a coffin six feet under the ground. As I could see that stripe of light, that might not be the case for me. I push my body up and slide up and down, even though my body is protesting with every motion. After repeating it a few times, I successfully moved the container out of its place, and my eyes took in the ceiling above me and the fluorescent bulb blinking brightly at the top. As my eyes moved, I saw that I was actually at the last row of some similar black metal lockers. Morgue.

My brain is my only friend currently, as it decided to give me some much-needed information. If only it could be a darling and tell me who I am and how I ended up in a morgue, it would top the non-existent list of my favorites.

A smell of copper and decay flared in the air, and I clambered out of the locker. It’s really freaking cold. Damn, what the hell are they doing shoving a totally alive person in a morgue? Did they want my brain to freeze up and die? And how the hell did I survive?

Later. My new best friend prompted me, and I got out of the door, only to stop as on the ground I found two guards lying dead. Their throats were sliced. Nice. Free clothes. I strip them off, as unlike me, they are actually dead and have no use for modesty. Modesty? We don’t care about that. But it would certainly make us invisible. My best friend, whom I am going to call Jericho now, tells me in a non-argumentative manner.

After taking the clothes from the dead guards, I made my way to the exit. We were in a wide corridor with a lot of doors, and all of them were morgues. Jeez, why care so much for the dead? There were two staircases leading to both up and down. Deciding to go with the one going upstairs, I tip-toed. At this point, I am blindly trusting Jericho to guide us through the mess.

Jericho said we aren’t exactly in a hospital, which is the place where people go for the sake of curing themselves from diseases and get trapped in a system of bills and medicines. We hate hospitals. To be honest, Jericho, I am not a fan of this place either. I reach an open corridor; the sun has set down for the day, and it’s warm. My body relishes the warmth after being cold for so long. But it’s all empty. There were rooms upon rooms with benches and scribbled walls with colored pencils. It’s a school.

What the hell! Why is there a morgue inside the basement of a school? Something is not right about this place. Am I right, Jericho? I am right. I know it. I didn’t wait for Jericho to validate me. A pair of footsteps sliced through the silence like a knife, and my feet suddenly sprang into action, and I hid myself inside one of the classrooms. I see from my hidden spot; there were some more guards jostling with each other as they passed the corridor, and I see them disappear to the same staircase from which I have come out. Fast. Move. I came out of the classroom and got down to another side of the floor and down a new pair of staircases which led me directly to the field.

I hear a scream behind me, probably from one of the guys on finding their friends all sliced up. I hope they don’t think I am the one who killed them and have become a zombie; not good for my reputation.

A certain flash of me gliding across a dance room with a beautiful woman in my arms came to my mind, but I slid it right off. Not the right time at all to reminisce. The main gate of the school didn’t have any heavy locks, so I opened it right away and sprinted into the wilds.

Sanctity

Lizzi is still in bed, sleeping peacefully. I stroke her hair once and she sighs in her sleep and I smile to myself. But as I turn and come down from the bed, my feet touching the cold floor I am punched by the reality of what we have done, what I have done, and the dilemma I must face of what I will do now.

I splash cold water on my face but it does nothing to soothe my heart, a vibrating sound comes back from the room and I hurry over to pick up my cell phone before Lizzi wakes up.

A bile rose up my throat as I read the message from my brother.

“Hey! I am stuck here for a few more days. Could you please check with Lizelle and ask if she needs anything? Is she still pissed at me for coming to this conference on our first-year anniversary and our fight last night?”

My brother Nithin, and Lizzi had an arranged marriage a year back and neither of them was happy about it. My brother had been vocal about his displeasure. He and Lizzi were polar opposites and they wanted different things from life but our parents were adamant.

And after a lot of emotional and verbal fights, they both tie the knot. Our families and I genuinely thought that things would smooth over with time, but it only turned worse.

Nithin hated how outgoing Lizzi was and he considered her irresponsible while Lizzi hated how controlling Nithin was in every aspect of their life. Nithin had asked me to talk to Lizzi because being closer to her in terms of age, I understood her wish to exploring things and wanting to have a life outside the confinement of a house, and being Nithin’s brother I got his point as well. That with time, we need to focus our priorities. It was an uneventful day when my parents and Nithin decided it was a good idea to give me the responsibilty to mend the bridge between Nithin and Lizzi. And that’s how I become the third wheel of a vehicle that could die any minute.

If I am being honest with myself, I found Lizzi attractive as soon as I laid my eyes upon her but after she got married to my brother I tried my best to create a distance between us but something or other kept forcing us in the same vicinity and each time it becomes more and more difficult for me to remain aloof to the connection between us.

Lizzi also reciprocates my feelings, she seems happier when I visit their house or whenever I talk to her. But it was something unspoken and forbidden that we never dared try to act until last night.

It was their first anniversary and Nithin had to leave for a conference all of a sudden and thus he canceled the party, which Lizzi and I had been planning for months. And it was like a band-aid came off and you could see the scar it was hiding. The facade of their marriage crumble and I was there to witness it all.

Nithin even said he wanted a divorce when he came back and Lizzi accepted the same. My heart felt torn as I consoled her. My conscious tried to warn me as we drank together and our walls were slowly crashing but I couldn’t leave Lizzi in her state, she was inconsolable as she kept saying that it was all a big mistake and that her parents had ruined her life. I tried to resist when she hugged me but then she is pulling me in for a kiss and I was breathing her floral scent and I didn’t have the fight in me to stop her. It was like all my heart’s desires lay exposed in front of me and I finally chose to embrace my desire.

Lizzi stirred on the bed and I turned to face her, my phone still in my hands, a constant reminder of my transgression. I have fooled myself and took advantage of my brother’s trust and love.

No matter how many times a couple fights, they aren’t actually going to be separated. What the heck was I thinking? And even if they do so, what will I do? I slept with Lizzi. Lizzi is my brother’s wife, even if they get divorced she would still be his ex-wife. And she was his wife when I slept with her and there was no come back from this. If my brother knew, it would be over. I can’t talk to him. I don’t know how will I ever face him? How will I ever face my parents?

“Hey!” A small voice pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts and I took in the way she was looking at me with soft hopeful eyes, but her smile vanished as she took in my rigid stature and glassy eyes.

“We did nothing wrong.” Her voice held a conviction that I didn’t feel at all.

“We did nothing wrong, Ajay. Your brother and I were never meant to be together.” She crawled towards me and with every inch she removed between us, I wanted to run and put that many miles. So I wouldn’t see the proof of what I have done.

“Listen to me. No one has to know. No one will know.” She is cradling my hand now and I snatch it away with a jerk.

I couldn’t be near her at this moment and I felt like my breath had come undone. I tried to find my clothes that were in disarray like my life and I wore them in an unfashioned manner.

“Stop freaking out, Ajay. For god’s sake, what is the big deal if we slept together? All you need to do is keep your mouth shut. Nithin and I will get a divorce and then we can do whatever we want as simple as that.” I stopped closing the buttons of my shirt and turned to her and for the first time saw her for who she was it stumped me on how blind I was to ever think that she was beautiful. She looked ugly to me at that moment and I felt a rage pouring out of me in vicious hot rays circling around her and some of it might be visible to her as well because she took a step back.

“It is a big deal,” I said slowly as I strode towards her. “We both did wrong to my brother. He didn’t deserve such betrayal and if you don’t get this then you really are how my brother has always thought you to be. A shameless and selfish…” I stopped myself from continuing and took a deep breath.

“Complete it, Ajay. Complete it. Say what you actually think now that you got what you wanted from me. Now you are suddenly on your brother’s side but you didn’t seem to care about him yesterday or the days before when you continuously told me that I deserve BETTER.” She scoffed at me, and I felt a pang of guilt as I remembered my reckless words. I had said them to comfort her, not because I truly believed them. Surely she understood that?

Her lips curled into a sneer as I remained silent

“Cat got your tongue, now? You all men are the same. I should have known, go on. Go and tell your brother what we did and see what you could accomplish by proving me to be the villain. I don’t care.” She has her hands around her arms like she is controlling herself or protecting herself.

“Go Ajay. I don’t want to see you as well. Get out.” She said and when I didn’t move she shouted once more. “Get the fuck out of here.”

I hastily finished closing all the buttons of my shirt and put on my shoes, Lizzi remained inside the room out of my eyes. Thankfully, I had driven my car yesterday, saving me from the indignity of waiting for a taxi.

But as I opened the door to finally leave this disaster of a mistake, my heart was still as I met the eyes of my brother.

Animal Movie Review

Release on 30 November 2023, this movie has earned a lot of attention for both positive and negative aspects. Here is my take on the movie that depicts the story of a father and son bond carved in blood.

“Animal” is a multi-starer movie with many stars in one frame. Ranbir Kapoor, as the only son of Balveer Singh, a business tycoon, is portrayed as a Sigma male and the impact it has on the people around him. He is unapologetic, intelligent, and loves his family a lot.

The movie moves forward in showing the obsession a son has to gain the approval of his father, and from a young age, how his one wish has shaped his entire life. Ranbir slayed this character to the core.

Anil Kapoor, as Balveer Singh, was phenomenal. From being a stoic father focused on his business to regretting the time he hadn’t spent with his children, his emotions were conveyed through his eyes alone. The transition he goes through in one scene from anger to confusion to fear to concern is applaudable.

Every character has their own story and agenda, and each of them delivers it to the best of their abilities. Rashmika, as a dutiful wife who hates how their life has shifted overnight and her loving husband has turned into a murderer, in a few scenes may be seen as overdone, but crucial scenes were top-notch and shouldn’t be missed.

The music is captivating and enthralling; one can easily get lost in the lyrics. What the movie lacks is depth.

We see the characters, and we are told their desires and aspirations, but there is no backbone to the story. Why is Balveer Singh loved by all his workers? How does Balveer Singh hold so much power in the country that his son goes on a murder rampage, and there is no law and order? What is this company all about and its power?

Why were all his cousins ready to die for Ranbir over his one speech? Their bond or anything isn’t shown except for the jokes and rage-filled dialogues.

We were introduced to a second family miles away who have their own set of rules and love, but it was so short that the angst that was shown felt hollow.

Also, the movie ended on a cliffhanger to show there is a sequel coming up for this, which felt unnecessary, but maybe the points that are missed in this movie are shown in that one, and it could be a fun watch.

So, if you like movies with a hero whose ego is bigger than his height and has his own set of principles that he keeps shoving into your throat, but you love the action and blood and a good set of music, this movie is for you.